There are few things that get me as excited as my annual canoe trip on the Wisconsin River. This trip poses very little danger, no real rapids to speak of, only the occasional close call with a tree branch. Mostly, it's just the "good life", floating lazily down the river and kicking back cans of soda or beer.
I'm so obsessed with the canoe trip that I have the location programmed into the weather app on my phone. I feel closer to a place if I can see what the weather is like, so I regularly like to check the weather and try to imagine how hazardous it would be to make the same trip during the winter months, I'm always thinking of the trip.
It's a great time when we get together with some old friends and do old-fashioned things. On the river, most of us have difficulty getting a signal on our phones, but sometimes it feels great to be "off the grid".
I'm not fussy about what kind of canoe I use, I can tell you very little about canoeing technique or what makes a good canoe. I've always used aluminum canoes because those are what's available at the rental place, they also seem tough to break.
It's probably a good idea to bring some tree cutting equipment, especially if you want to have something to burn for your evening campfire. Once you find a nice large sandbar on which to camp, everyone should set off in different directions in search of large pockets of dead wood and fallen trees. Once we find the wood, out come the garden saws, hatchets and machetes.
On my first canoe trip I impaled my foot with the skeletal remains of a large catfish. The bone had tiny barbs that prevented me from pulling it out without ripping my foot apart. One of my camp mates broke the bone with a pliers and pulled it through my foot with the same pliers. Needless to say, nobody likes an emergency, especially when you're in the middle of nowhere.
For this reason, I suggest that you try to be careful around sharp objects, and though it is tempting, do not throw, fling or generally misbehave with anything that can potentially injure you. Injury is a real buzz-kill on a canoe trip. Nobody wants to paddle you back to civilization or perform field surgery, so wear your sandals, aquasocks and whatnot, and please don't throw any hatchets.
It's a great time when we get together with some old friends and do old-fashioned things. On the river, most of us have difficulty getting a signal on our phones, but sometimes it feels great to be "off the grid".
In addition to the drive to Wisconsin, there's usually an excursion to a bar and also an overnight stay at a local motel. Once on the river, you'd think that we'd want to split up and explore the river in individual canoes, but we usually lash all the canoes together so that they're all aligned side-by-side. The fellows who ride in the middle canoe end up doing almost no work, meanwhile the people paired-up in the outer canoes begrudgingly paddle to avoid swirling eddies and other hazards that would have us drifting toward a shoreline tangle of trees.
We also carry a few full lengths of climbing rope to use as utility ropes. Once we've selected an island to camp on, usually someone will discover large amounts of fallen dead trees at the far end of the island. We tie large loops in the rope and as many as eight of us can tow an impressively large fallen limb using our combined energy. When you're not using them for towing, you can use them to secure bundles of wood inside the canoes, or suspend tarps and hammocks.
Climbing ropes come in a variety of vivid colors, and having stuff like ropes with you on the trip makes you look like you know what you're doing to the other people on the river.
There was one year when we decided to camp on a sandbar that we later nicknamed "Spider Island". Due to the changing flows of the river, the towheads we've previously camped on look different year-to-year, so there's always a debate as to which one this is. Someone will usually object to the first proposed islet with a firm "No! We can't camp on that there, it's Spider Island!"
We rarely agree on anything, but that's what's so interesting about going on a canoe camping trip with a group of people. A sort of "wisdom of crowds" comes into effect, and we benefit from a diversity of opinions. There are opinions on how the wood should be cut, stacked and burned. There are differences of opinion on where to pitch camp, where to relieve oneself and where to build the fire pit.
At the end of the day, everyone usually has their tent pitched and there is time to explore the island. There's also time to play acoustic guitars, set off fireworks, and dig out the water mixable oil paints for a quick landscape painting. After all this, our attention invariably shifts to the contents of several coolers.
We rarely agree on anything, but that's what's so interesting about going on a canoe camping trip with a group of people. A sort of "wisdom of crowds" comes into effect, and we benefit from a diversity of opinions.
If you're going to bring beverages on the river, I think that aluminum cans are the most compact form of packaging, unless you like drink boxes. Glass bottles are also heavier, not fun to toss to your friend and illegal on the river, so don't bring them.
The food we carry is also fairly compact. For dinner we like hamburgers, hotdogs and bratwurst. For breakfast it's bacon, eggs and hash brown patties. All of these things take up very little room and should help you keep more space for drinks.
We like to shop ats You buy all the stuff you want to eat for so little money. When the bill is split among 6-8 campers, the cost goes down. You have to ask yourself, do I eat to live, or do I live to eat? The difference can be negligible after you've been in the sun for twelve hours. Everything tastes better while camping, even Little Debbie Snack Cakes.
We nearly always have a surplus of food because we buy more than we need. A couple of times we've underestimated the amount of food, but that was because we were eating and drinking too fast.
There is something that is so surreal about the illumination of a propane lantern. We have a couple aluminum tables where we prepare the food and set out the non-perishable items. The lantern helps us keep an eye on the tables so that they're not invaded by raccoons. The lantern light can also help you find your way back to the fire after stepping away to relieve yourself.
Even if your campfire is petering-out because of high winds (or not enough wood), the lantern can be a guaranteed source of light, and the glass shield prevents it from being diminished by the wind.
Sometimes we hang it on the kitchen rig, and sometimes we suspend it from a couple propped-up canoe paddles. Anywhere you put this thing, it'll conjure up memories of your grandpa, or maybe even everyone's grandpa.
In my opinion, lanterns spend entirely too much time in the garage and not enough time being used. This is another one of those objects that can magically transport you back to every time you've used it before.
You can fit a lot of tiki torches in the bottom of your canoe, and you might want to do that. Even though a good campfire is all you need, the torches can help you define a perimeter for your camp area, and the smoke from torches can help keep bugs away. They also transform your boring campsite into a Hawaiian luau.
We found some at a local garden center and they were so cheap that we bought nine. The fuel isn't too expensive either, and you can buy it in giant plastic jugs. You don't need to be too careful about keeping the torches dry as you travel on the river because it has a fiberglass wick, and once the containers are fueled up, it lights easily, even in windy conditions.
For several years our campers have arrived in two shifts. There are the guys who arrive on the selected island during the day, and the guys who, for whatever reason, got stuck at work and needed to arrive after dark. It can be a little bit of a risky proposition trying to coordinate this, but once we have all the torches in place, it's easy to identify the campsite and pilot a canoe to the island after dark.
A certain euphoria sets in after a vigorous day of outdoor activity. There is nothing better than a campfire. The tales grow taller as the shadows grow deeper, and everyone's face is cast in a flickering glow. All the campers take turns entertaining and a dizzy reverie takes over until someone bursts into song. Johnny Cash and Gordon Lightfoot seem to be favorites among my friends.
I like to wrap a few russet potatoes in foil and toss them onto the coals at the outskirts of the fire pit, but nobody remembers to check them, so they become charred like white hot space trash. Someone usually brings a couple enormous cans of pork and beans and they are also placed at the perimeter of the fire.
On a clear night the visible star field is mind-blowing. Everyone slinks lower into their camp chairs and stares out into the universe. Someone will nod off, and will then be rudely awakened with a drunken serenade, and the cycle continues until everyone begins to nod-off, at which time we all switch on our headlamps and head back to our tents. My windbreaker will smell like a campfire for the rest of the year.
The next morning everything is covered in dew. Slowly we emerge from our tents and someone will try to stoke the smoldering remains of the fire. Once the fire is at a reasonable cooking heat, we begin breakfast.
We always made eggs and bacon in a giant iron skillet, until one year when we decided to experiment with a muffin pan, cooking one egg and one slice of bacon in each cup. No forks or plates are necessary, the finished product is perfect on an English muffin or toasted bagel. We also cook some frozen hash brown patties over the fire in a grilling basket, this rounds out the meal experience. It's all washed down with some nice opaque cowboy coffee, slowly simmered over a burner.
Back in civilization I'd order a cortado, or machiatto, but I wouldn't dare utter those words in this company. The coffee pot is the last piece of kitchen equipment we use before leaving, for this reason it always seems to escape washing. It's also representative of the entire experience; hastily prepared... and so worthwhile!